I am Emperor Kefka Part 1
by iosolomon
Summary: [Lost Pilot Episode 31] The adventures continues...
1. Chapter 1: Emperor Kefka's Plea

Chapter 1: Emperor Kefka's Plea

present-day iosolomon: "It might be better titled as Emperor Hirohito's plea, because Emperor Hirohito cannot Dishonor another Emperor. And, it is now Emperor Kefka's turn to speak first, Emperor Hirohito speaks second, Abe is back in third. That is not good, because if Emperor Kefka wants to tell a lie, Emperor Hirohito can only make it a half-lie. And, Abraham knows that Hirohito will not betray His Brother's trust."

iosolomon: "And so the story goes like this."

Joseph: "Ah ok..this weekend I may chill with anthony, ur welcome to come. Im gettings headaches again lol. That you can cure haha."

Emperor Kefka: "He still uses poor spelling! I CHOP OFF YOUR HANDS WHEN YOU MAKE MISTAKES!"

Abraham: "No, Kefka, YOU are not that evil. That is someone else, and that person is NOT welcomed in Heaven."

Emperor Kefka: "But it was ME!"

Abraham: "Because of Their wickedness. There are alternative, and just as successful, forms of punishment than chopping someone's hand off."

King Solomon: "However, if I was the King, and that was the Law, I would demand it. But, when I die, and find out that I am God, I return to abolish! There will be no chopping off of hands, or limbs."

Emperor Kefka: "Yes, I wouldn't want to anyways. I was just saying that it was ME!"

iOSolomon: "Please spell your words out if you are going to speak to Emperor Solomon. This is not a joke. Have respect, or do not contact me. The Koreans have told me that they will execute you, so I suggest you take off the mask, because I really would execute you for a quick laugh."

present-day Emperor Kefka laughs.

present-day present-day King Solomon laughs even harder. "Emperor Kefka started to laugh. Then, I read, 'present-day Emperor Kefka laughs,' and it's like, he is laughing present-time. Ha ha ha."

iOSolomon: "I am Emperor of Korea. Now, all I ask is you clean up the filth, take the mask off. I do not care what you plan on doing. You will do what I want to do unless you want to go to hell upon death. God judges you instantly. And right now because of your lies, your dishonor, you would go to hell if I killed myself. Or if you die."

iOSolomon: "Let me spell it out for You. Either I execute You, or I have Myself executed. This is the Vow I made to God. Do NOT talk to me again unless You are going to treat me as God."

Joseph: "Would you prefer columbia presbyterian, which is like a hotel. Excellent food, excellent shamans, concerts, a nice view of the hudson, yoga classes.. Or carrier, im not sure how that would be. Or neither."

Quina: "FOOD!"

iosolomon: "But even though we just declared Ourself Emperor of Korea, We still have no money, no food."

Jose Arrugante calls, live-time.

iosolomon: "Sage Rat. What are you doing to me?!"

Sage Rat does not appear.

iosolomon: "Right, iTunes, Sage Rat, what are you doing to me?!"

Jose: "Im going to treat who as God? Obviously I want to prevent my death, but I would rather die than you."

iTunes: "Even the nights are better."

Schala: "Aw! I was hoping Sage Rat would appear."

iosolomon: "Sage Rat. Excellent work. Emperor Hirohito is impressed."

Emperor Hirohito: "That's right. This was all a show on Jose's part."

Sage Rat starts singing Even the Nights Are Better!

Schala applauds. "Yay!"

Sage Rat exits the screen. Bob Marley appears, at first, singing Is This Love.

iosolomon: "Bob Marley, you can do better than that! I'm going to endlessly click until another Bob Marley song is selected."

iosolomon; "This would be a good song if it was from Her!"

iosolomon: "Sorry Madonna. But this time, I think I'm going to hang up the connection. I want to give Bob Marley some tv time."

Madonna calls back. "But I want to get together with Bob Marley."

iosolomon: "Oh why didn't you just say so?"

Madonna; "Because..."

Schala: "Maybe because you hung up the CONNECTION!"

iosolomon laughs.

[Dancing Mad 2 plays.]

iosolomon; "Oh brother, why are you playing songs that I have to stop at? And soon I am going to have a Mojojojo moment, in which Mojojojo speaks for like 10 minutes, but all of it makes perfect sense at the very end, because if he didn't say it all, then nothing he said would have made sense until the very end, so he has to say everything for it to make sense, but it does not make sense while you are listening because you are not at the end, but when you get to the end it makes perfect sense. This is not one of those moments. Everything I said should have made sense to you while I was saying it."

Emperor Kefka: "The Koreans call. Google, who are the current Leaders of North and South Korea?"

iosolomon: "Oh, fascinating. Fascinating."

Emperor Kefka: "What does it say?"

iosolomon: "Yes, my Lord. Google."

Google: "The Democratic...There appears to be technical difficulties."

Emperor Kefka: "Very well. Then, I ask for the Leader of North Korea to appear."

Kim Jong-un appears. "I am Kim Jong-un, the Supreme Leader of North Korea."

Emperor Kefka whispers to Abraham Lincoln:

Abraham Lincoln: "How does Emperor Kefka address You, Sir?"

Kim Jong-un. "That is the correct question. Good-bye."

Kim Jong-un leaves.

Lee Myung-bak appears. "I am President of South Korea, Lee Myung-bak."

Emperor Kefka: "I am disappointed in you. I have no respect for South Korea."

Lee Myung-bak leaves.

Abraham Lincoln: "You cannot blame them, Emperor Kefka. I am disappointed to say, but it is America's fault that South Korea is so shameful. America is very shameful to me."

present-day iosolomon: "And back to the conversation with Jose. Oh wait, that is what I came here to do. To change his name back."

iosolomon: "Please contact Namingway."

iTunes: "Requiem for a Dream."

iosolomon; "If I had some weed, this would have been a great 420 weed transmission. Hey look at that, it's 10:19. You know what that means?!"

present-day iosolomon waits.


	2. Chapter 2: One Minute Later

Chapter 2: One Minute Later

42011281020420

42011282220420

sd: "The Emperor is waiting for Bob Marley. Then, the Emperor wishes iTunes to name this chapter immediately after. I will now click [for the next song]."

Bob Marley: "Emperor, might I suggest the title be 'Roots, Rock, Reggae.'"

This pleases Emperor Solomon.

King Solomon: "Thank you, Bob Marley. But it seems that the title was already named."

end of 42011281020420

end of 42011282220420

Emperor Kefka laughs. "Personally, I would rather execute the Judges, Prosecutors, and police officers just so I don't have to show up to Court again. By the end of this month, I might very well be asking for that. Standing on the edge of the rocks, and waiting until I see BOMBS explode. There will be a strict count-down, of course, if the city behind me does not blow up, I jump to my icy cold death."

Emperor Kefka laughs more. "No, really, the officer who denied me entry into Seaside Park, VIOLATING the Constitution, which is UNER GOD, should be slaughtered. You do NOT violate YOUR VOWS WITH GOD! OR ELSE GOD DOES DESTROY YOU!"

Emperor Kefka isn't laughing anymore. "I am not Emperor Kefka, fortunately, for the Americans. But, from this day forward, I will remember. Mr. Fitch, if I have to deal with a trial, You will be on the list. I WILL lead ALL of Asia, including Russia, into an all-or-nothing war against the Americans. And Our reason? To liberate, not the Americans, Emperor Hirohito, My Brother, meant to say, the NATIVE AMERICANS!"

Emperor Kefka laughs.

Emperor Kefka: "Abraham Lincoln. You know that I AM Abraham Lincoln. And YOU have the audacity to violate the Constitution. That DISRESPECTS YOUR OWN PRESIDENT!"

Emperor Kefka: "This is how it will go down. The charges will be dismissed. Elizabeth Hampton will call me, and tell me that the charges have been dropped. No. Better. The Law will made CONSTITUTIONAL! And Mr. Fitch, can keep his Grace. His Respect. I do not want to belittle. Wait. That's not Me talking. Abraham. You're supposed to be third!"

present-day iosolomon: "This is a disaster. I'll just fix this."

Abraham Lincoln: "It is me that they have disgraced. You have the option to slaughter them. I do not chose that."

Abraham Lincoln: "I do not want to belittle anyone. This is a really black-and-white case. For the past 15 years, many people have been unconstitutionally and illegally arrested because of minors lying. However, no minor has been punished. Therefore, American Justice dictates this."

present-day King Solomon: "Up, up up, wait. Hawaii got the answer to this one right. Just had to give a quick shout-out."

Emperor Kefka: "And this is what I will get."

Abraham Lincoln: "Whatever charges the adult is charged with, the minor is also charged with, as an adult, because that is the age they wish to represent. That is the age, then, that they should be charged as. So, if I have to go to trial, and there have not been charges pressed against Rich, I order Daniel Dinnebeil to suicide. Just like that."

present-day iosolomon laughs. "This coming from a guy who ordered his own assassination."

iosolomon; "It's what I said from day 1. Now what about my parents for choosing those lies."

King Solomon: "Kathleen, Daniel. For every day that YOU lied to God, You will BURN in Hell. However, You can make up for that through prayer and repentance over the next, is it 23 years, of Your life. But, I assure You, if You were to die right now, or before the 23 years is up, You burn in Hell. And, Hell, is as bad as You think. You see, the problem is that King Solomon is also Me. And King Solomon would chose a different type of Hell, but that is wishful thinking. King Solomon was LYING to You. Kathleen, Daniel, You would be the first I would destroy upon My Death. For the next 23 years of Your life, You should fear death. Because You are not welcomed in Heaven. You have violated the Fourth Commandment every single day. However, there is consideration for the age of 7 truth, for telling Katrina the truth in a way that I [Shiva] would see, and for Honoring the Japanese. However, I created the Jews, and in this case, You should Honor me. Again, King Solomon is the reincarnation of My incarnation, with a completely different viewpoint. However, the Bible is the Bible, the Ten Commandments are the Ten Commandments, and People stupider than You follow them, so You can't say you didn't know any better. This would only increase Your punishment when You die. Think of God as a Robot. God looks at 14 different colors. And sees what color you are. Be careful."

Abraham: "But I am glad that you didn't give me any crap today, Kathleen. But I really am watching You. Starting to day, You better NOT make me angry again. If YOU DO ANGER ME, THEN YOU LISTEN. YOU DO NOT QUESTION. Because, I have instructed King Solomon to save You as red from this day forward. It would be foolish of You to play the games of the Queen. King Solomon would forgive You, but I will NOT."

iosolomon: "Sigh. You do know, Father, that I would kill Myself. I have tried, at YOUR request, many times, but I played a game of russian roulette, at the King's Request."

present-day King Solomon: "Just to keep things interesting. You see."

present-day iosolomon: "And back to my anger with Jose."

iosolomon: "iTunes, call forward Namingway again."

iosolomon: "I remembered to not say I forget. I must find Bob Marley first."

Namingway appears, but then disappears.

Powerman 5000, through CM 5000: "Now this is what it's like when worlds collide."

iosolomon: "I think that's the last of the songs. Madonna, you are still here. But I am not going to listen to you until after Bob Marley gets here."

Madonna: "No worries."

itunes: "Slam Shuffle Route 1"

present-day iosolomon: "Well, well, Quina, looks like we are going to go get you that food."

present-day iosolomon starts to laugh at what past iosolomon just typed up to Jose.

past iosolomon: "I am almost out of it [the hemp oil]. But that stuff tastes horrible. The smoking is your call. I am telling you the truth when I say that I am King Solomon, the Sun. I am, or was, Emperor of Korea."

Emperor Kefka laughs. "I am from Teman. Tumen. Tomsriver. See the similarities."

iosolomon: "No, Slam Shuffle Route 1 later. Sorry, Quina."

Quina: "But there might be good food." Quina jumps in!

iosolomon: "Ah, madness!"

iosolomon takes a hemp oil to start the transmission.


	3. Chapter 3: Roots, Rock, Reggae

Chapter 3: Roots, Rock, Reggae

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Emperor Kefka: "This song doesn't make me laugh. That means I don't get revived!"

King Solomon laughs. "But, that is good. No more static. Kefka, it means You have won!"

Emperor Kefka: "Finally!"

Emperor Kefka returns Home. "Farewell!"

Emperor Hirohito: "Damn, guess I'll never get to end this matrix at this rate."

iosolomon: "Dude, gotta keep that shit to a minimum. I can no longer control Emperor Kefka. If he wants me to walk into a North Korean Embassy, All Americans will die."

King Solomon laughs. "The entire world is willing to sacrifice America so that all would be well in America [and the world]. The entire world wants to liberate the Native Americans. I no longer have control either."

iosolomon: "You know, it is weird. I honestly just thought to myself, 'Within two songs, iTunes will have selected the next Bob Marley song for me. But, I dismissed this thought. How could it be? It would be more fun to have me click a bit longer. I was about to do a non-stop click, like a non-stop bus ride in Ocean City. You make great time on the bus that way. Otherwise, the bus system sucks. Wouldn't a monorail system be cool, there? I would love to work on designing it, even if I fuck up, who cares, it's all for fun! Well, that was Emperor Kefka speaking just a little, but you sent him away."

Bob Marley: "The Sun is Shining."

King Solomon: "Ha ha ha. I can shine."

The hemp oil transmission grows weak. Bob Marley fades in and out. The fading in and out gets a bit worse towards the end of the song. Then, even worse. But Bob Marley fights the static, and finishes the song.

end of 1044420+RS_Hemp_Oil_Transmission_som_town4_Merry_Christmas_War_Is_Over

iOSolomon: "There's a side of Me that is as evil as the Devil Himself, except, it is still pure. I would never advocate for physical torture. That is not good under the eyes of God. But friends have always come and gone, I just do not want any friends in my life who are still wearing masks. You know what I mean by that, don't ask me to explain. So, unless, you smoke, I suggest you don't contact me. Because all you do is disrespect Me. I am Korea's true God. I am Emperor Kefka. And anyone who disrespects me will die. This I promise you starting now."

present-day iosolomon: "Yeah, Sweet Hone Alabama. Abe loves Alabama, or at least, the Spirit of Alabama. Please contact Hemmingway, let's go for the Grand Finale."

Hemingway appears.

sd14: "This is what I'm going to do since I did not mean to type Hemingway. I am going to google the name of the first song you select plus Hemingway for his lines."

King Solomon is about to weep. "That's so beautiful. Put your hands up for detroit and cleveland is selected." King Solomon's eyes water.

iosolomon, following the Prophecy, puts his hands up.

Hemingway: "My heart goes out to both the Tigers of Detroit and the Indians of Cleveland."

future iosolomon: "Wait, you're happier if you let the song finish playing."

future iosolomon smokes weed to this song. present-day iosolomon does hemp. and past iosolomon does hemp.

iosolomon: "Do you know what that means? I have to do hemp and smoke weed while this song is playing in the future, because that is what the South Prophecy dictates. See. I even wrote it here Myself. But isn't that funny? It's the only way time travel works. Or, otherwise, God hears TOO much static. And God, well, why not just make us all robots? But it's the 8th-13th sins that are black. Japan is the Protector of Them All! Even, ironically, the Jews. I mean, even Allah, when He incarnates has something to do. But Allah, should already be Here. Is it Obama? Is it another person?"

iTunes contacts Namingway.

Sage Rat: "Yeah, Namingway is an Indian. I knew you'd be impressed with the chinese song, which is actually an indian song."

Namingway, in an Indian tone: "How may I help you today?"

iosolomon; "Please change Jose's name to Joseph."

Jose: "I[']m trying. []Are [Y]ou going to class tomorrow?"

Namingway: "Very well. It has been done."

Joseph: "I'm trying. Are You going to class tomorrow?"

iosolomon: "So nice to have You back, Brother Joseph."

Joseph: "Ha ha. Do You really want me to smoke, I will..."

Joseph: "May I call You?"

iosolomon: "No. I am sorry. I am mediating. I am in a trance. A phone conversation would interrupt me. I am very mad that I am still trapped in a matrix. I have no money, no food. I am King Nothing! Emperor Nothing! The only thing that I have is eventual ascension to the Korean Throne. But I don't know when that'll be."

Joseph: "Ok. Well, You have a choice on what happens next. I don't want to exert any legal authority. Option A: Tell me when You are ready, I will take You to NYC. Option B: I exert legal authority. But, yeah, I know You are upset. Do you still have any hemp oil?"

King Solomon: "Perhaps, Brother Joseph could take us to the Amish?"

iosolomon: "I am almost out of it. But that stuff tastes horrible. The smoking is Your call."

present-day iosolomon: "Emperor Hirohito, I'm just going to type using American English, not Japanese English."

Emperor Hirohito: "Ha ha."

Joseph: "Well, what's going to happen."

E2: "It's my song. I must travel Slam Shuffle Route 1 now."

E2 takes a hit of hemp oil.


	4. Chapter 4: Smooth Transmission

Chapter 4: Smooth Transmission

FF654-2_Hemp_Oil_Transmission_1128_1107

iosolomon: "I took the hit. I let the song play out, so I just dated and time stamped the start of the transmission instead."

[Meanwhile]

Quina and E2 are in the Phantom Forest. Shadow is also with them.

Shadow: "I am glad you came. My friends are in trouble. We need your help."

Quina: "I too hungry to help."

E2: "What can we do? We'll be glad to help."

Shadow: "There's food on the train. My friends went ahead without me. I told them too. There was a monster too dangerous for them to fight. You can think of it like the scene in Jurassic Park where the guy sacrifices himself so that the girl can make it to the generator. I was the diversion. They should be at the train by now. I am injured. I need your help to get there."

E2 casts Cure 2.

Shadow: "It is not my HP or MP."

E2: "I see."

[Meanwhile]

CM 1128: "iPhone goes off at 11:11. iosolomon does the Amen sign, and bows his head for a moment. The moment of silence from last night. This is Lost Pilot Episode 29. Part 2."

[Meanwhile]

present-day iosolomon loads yahoo email to get the remainder of the text messages from Brother Joseph.

iText: "Whoa, look at that change on your eyes. Haha. Kinda got spoiled."

sd0: "This ^ makes no sense to me. Should I self-destruct it?"

Joseph: "Well, what's going to happen? This is a decision YOU are making, I'm just trying to guide you. Please elaborate on the mask. I've always treated You and everyone with respect. I've never mocked You in one why. I thank and appreciate [][O]ur Friendship it means the world to me."

iPone: "The moment of silence for November 27 is complete. Please return to the vehicle."

iosolomon: "I am the incarnation of the Sun God. If You continue to communicate with Me, You are ordered - by God - to treat me like God because that is Who I am- God."

iTunes plays, while Brother Joseph is speaking, an instruction for a hemp oil transmission.

03-14-reminiscence~feelings_not_erased~_Hemp_Oil_Transmission_Bad_Habit_Lesson_30

iosolomon: "Well, before you speak. Time for me to finish the rest of the Hemp Oil. Lesson 30. Here, we go!"

iosolomon drinks the last of the hemp oil. WP is restored.

Joseph: "A shatter of brightly colored gems, millions spiral across the universe, each connected. They reach into the Soul. and there it is. Before Solomon, before Creation, before Time, focus. After the eventual destruction of the universe and time, there it is."

Joseph: "But now is now, and there is nothing better than to enjoy and focus on now.'do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself' Jesus. All things are lawful but not all things are edifying. And such I will treat You as God, and since you are and want to see you in your pure awesome light, I treat you the way I do. With respect. it is why I gave you the options. God, you did not choose A. And since as Jesus said, 'I abide in the father and the father in the me,'and as such I am You and You are me, I'll take us to now, and exert option b, 'taking legal authority' for commitment soon."

present-day Emperor Kefka thinks to self: "Yeah, and then you will die."

present-day Emperor Hirohito is haunted, now, by a parallel dimension, in which He is watching Jose be executed.

present-day [past] iosolomon is pleased. Now, to save Shadow. But, another text breaks the hemp oil transmission.

end of 03-14-reminiscence~feelings_not_erased~_Hemp_Oil_Transmission_Bad_Habit_Lesson_30

Jose sends another text...iosolomon is getting annoyed.

Jose sends yet another text...present-day iosolomon is pleased.

[past] present-day iosolomon: "Dude, Sage Rat. Too much with the texting. You are really breaking the flow for me. I do not like to be reminded I'm in the matrix."

iosolomon: "I still have last night's episode to do. Alright. Take it easy."

Joseph: "Is there more I need to take off? I dont work for verizon but in the now. I dont go to school but in the now. We go out and eat but in the now. We had a tryst but in the now. The future will become the now. The past will never be the now. I dont know my scripts and you dont know yours. Since you claim you see the future you should know yours more than I see mine. what do you see in mine? I steer to the now, but I see how you always veer off. All I do is appreciate our friendship and this makes me confident."

sd0: "The conversation that Jose last had with me in-person, either he had that conversation with me when I was really high within the past 2 years, or I had a dream of him having that conversation. I don't know what's real anymore."

Abraham: "Joseph, I am God. When you address me, use correct punctuation. Go through the text before sending it to me. Use only one blank space after the period. And when you type the word 'you,' capitalize it, because I am God. Now, worship me."

Son Joseph: "eleh eleh ayeh ¥¤¥ °°°°°°° Nayeriah aksi :orekeshkesh: narium wyori wyori!"

present-day iosolomon; "Whew, made it to the end of the script. Now I can jump into the Slam Shuffle Route 1...Nope, another text by Joseph."

Joseph: "Dios, el Dios que entiende todos lenguas, diga me, por que no intiendes que escribo?"

iosolomon was about to "

iosolomon; "Brian, if I was to tell everyone on Facebook, that I either execute ALL of them, or just you, what do you think they will pick? If everyone one of them voted for you, then I would execute you in exchange for them. I am getting tired of this game. Noah was a jew. Noah is technically banished from the Kingdom of Heaven. I am getting tired of the games Jose is playing."

Nov 28, 2012 11:31 PM

Joseph: "The next step is Columbia Presbyterian Hospital. The next step is Columbia Presbyterian Hospital. The next step is Columbia Presbyterian Hospital."

Abraham: "ENOUGH! I will contact you when I feel like talking."

Joseph: "Can't deny three's a charm! Goodnight."

iosolomon: "B Good night."

present-day iosolomon. "That is what We call the Holy Ghost. It was like I already hit it by accident. But how?"

iTunes: "There isn't much time. -1:25. Hurry, before the wormhole seals."

iosolomon; "No. The text of 'B' was not option 'B.' I have made a Vow to God that I am to kill myself if my rights are violated again from this day forth. And this time, I have to Honor Him."

iosolomon jumps in. -0:14 seconds to spare. Wait.

Shadow appears. They jump in together.


	5. Chapter 5: Dude! What Gives!

Chapter 5: Dude! What Gives?!

iosolomon: "Whew."

Shadow: "What, this isn't the Phantom Train."

iosolomon: "No, it's Mt. Ordeals. They need your help."

Shadow joins the FF2 Party.

FF2 text: "Hiss... Hiss..."

Tellah: "Watch out! I feel something evil!

FF2 text: "I'm glad... glad indeed... to slay you all..."

Cecil: "Who is it!?"

iosolomon: "It's just me."

iosolomon_0: "Oh, shit, it's me."

iosolomon: "Yeah, lol, guess we'll make you 0."

Brother Joseph comes jumping in. Joseph, still recovering from the static.

Joseph: "No, DJ is choosing 'A.' No, DJ is choosing 'A.' No, DJ is choosing 'A.' No, DJ is choosing 'A.'

iosolomon: "I want to visit the Amish. Are there Amish in New York City?"

iosolomon_0: "So you're telling me I still have the darkness?"

iosolomon: "Yeah, you become a Paladin here."

iosolomon_0: "Sweet."

iosolomon: "Well, you actually already did, but you're in the Enter Now still."

Cecil: "No, the hissing. Who is it?"

Schala walks up the stairs.

Schala: "That's the black wind."

The screen turns a dark shade of purple.

A man in a purple cloak appears.

"Well, Hello. I am Golbez's Fiend of Earth, Milon!"

iosolomon_0: "Oh, lol, I thought he said Friend."

iosolomon: "Lol, that's how I typed it up."

"Now! Meal time for my monsters!"

Quina: "No, meal time for me!"

The Party battles. Shadow and the other Party battles the [black] wind.

Each time Cecil hits Milon, Milon casts Lit-1.

Lit-1 first time hits Porom. Lit-1 second time hits Porom.

Porom: "OW! Why you keep hitting me?!"

Porom misses a zombie from the first bolt of thunder.

Palom takes out a zombie.

Tellah casts Cure 2 on Porom.

Cecil hits Milon.

Milon casts Lit-1 on Porom.

Milon: "Go go my children."

The Zombies cast Drain. However, the game was Paused.

Porom still recovering from the electricity, misses again!

Tellah casts Cure 2 onto the Party.

Cecil hits Milon. Milon casts Lit-1 on Porom.

Palom, angry at the infliction of pain on his sister,

iosolomon: "Sage Rat, I'm not too happy you just made me yell, 'Why you leave that light?'"

Palom misses.

Porom, having not been hit with electricity yet, gets a shot in. 3 zombies down. 1 more to go.

Cecil attacks Milon. Milon zaps Tellah. Tellah attacks Zombie, but only the Archers can deal the final blow. It would take too long for Tellah to kill the Zombie. Tellah ends up missing.

Porom: "Nice shot, Palom."

Cecil attacks Milon. Milon zaps Tellah.

Milon, since there's no more zombies, is able to attack now, Milon zaps Palom.

Cecil attacks Milon. Milon zaps Tellah.

Porom misses. Palom hits. Only 29 damage. Cecil gets zapped.

Everyone in the Party has been electrocuted at this point. Cecil and Black Mage will finish the battle.

The Twins Cast Twin

Tellah casts Ice-1

Cecil attacks. Cecil gets zapped. Tellah

mil on : Oh ... my body?!

The Party continues to walk.

Schala: "The black wind!"

The screen turns purple again.

"Hiss... Well done. But, my true strength lies in death, and with it I drag you all to abyss!"

Joseph:

iosolomon banishes Joseph from Heaven.

Emperor Kefka: "I will order Jose's execution right now. I will ask iTunes, however, for ONE chance of forgiveness. That is, if I am not being summoned from my house to watch Jose's execution in less than 5 minutes, I go and kill myself. One song, iTunes, or Jose must die."

Emperor Hirohito: "iTunes, has spoken. He [Sage Rat here] is siding with Japan. But, I respect your wishes to banish him. Obviously, he's not banished from Heaven."

Joseph: "Ah, so you have chosen option 'B', seriously?

Emperor Hirohito: "No, really, I can also request that Asia wipe out all of Japan. If Japan wants to continue disrespecting God, then I will have to call on the world to destroy Japan. I will NOT allow anyone to bring DISHONOR to God. Now, YOU are insulting me."

Dragon God: "I will destroy Japan at this rate of insult."

Emperor Hirohito: "You are playing a seriously dangerous game."

Emperor Kefka: "You are playing a seriously dangerous game. Unless you want to be sacrificed to the Korean God, shoo!"

Abraham: "No. Really. I will order Jose's immediate execution right now. I AM ABRAHAM. Jose is violating the Ten Commandments. This better stop. Right now. Brian Koening, You will die with Jose. Lest, the Koreans want to Dishonor God."

iosolomon: "The patience of Abraham is down to two more texts from Jose. If Jose is not silent by the third text, Brian Koening (Sage Rat) and Jose will die."

ABRAHAM SLAMS HIS HAND INTO THE BED POST. "STOP THIS BULLSHIT!"

iosolomon: "You are just doing this to see what the WRATH OF GOD is like. HOWEVER, if JOSE AND BRIAN DO NOT GET EXECUTED, THEN I WILL KILL MYSELF!"

iosolomon: "No, it's still forgivable at this point. It depends on the next song iTunes plays."

iosolomon resists. A smirk on his face. "Chrono Trigger: Church Theme."

iosolomon is calmed. The wrath subsides. Abraham goes back to Heaven.

iosolomon; "Now, I can be King Solomon again. I'm ready, now, for my wive's annoyances. All is forgiven."

Emperor Hirohito: "Abraham, the static, is gone. All is well."

Emperor Kefka: "Yeah, yeah. I knew it wasn't going to get to be. Emperor Hirohito's wishes will be carried out. Abraham doesn't know how to lie..."

iosolomon: "You see, this is why I need that magic. So I can start burning these sinners. I think it might be wise of me to put the mask back on. Emperor Kefka will kill you if he gets sand in his boots! He'll kill you if there's a cloud in the sky!"

Emperor Kefka laughs. "No, I don't mind clouds."

Emperor Kefka: "If Jose is merely a messenger, I will not kill the messenger. However, Jose is the reason I was sent to the mental hospital in August. That, violated my First Amendment, and that, I am tempted to send him to hell for. Now, Emperor Hirohito would be satisfied with the eye for an eye rule. My Korean appetite, well, not as merciful."

iosolomon thinks clearly again, now that the static is gone. "Man, Abraham, worse Jew than King Solomon."

CM 5000: "Can I show them the memory of King Solomon and Saint Justin?"

iosolomon: "Sure, I was just thinking about that."


	6. Chapter 6: Doin' Time

Chapter 6: Doin' Time

CM 5000 takes us to the past. Summer, 2012.

iTunes: "Magic Summer night, Cascada."

iosolomon laughs.

King Solomon: "I would be the worst Jew of them all."

Saint Justin: "..."

King Solomon: "I mean, I would be the worst Jew of them all because I would use my Jewishness in the name of righteousness and honor. If God was real, God would just want to kill everyone right now. But I would want to show the People how easy it is to Honor God. God did not create to destroy, but God destroys evil. God could get rid of evil. But getting rid of evil, that will get rid of free will. And that is not what God wants. That's why there's always 13 children that get to repopulate the world. 13 tribes. One of them is always Jewish. Noah's. But God, if He was real, He would want to destroy right now, and I'm here to try and stop that."

Saint Justin: "You would be a good Jew."

King Solomon: "Too bad I don't know 100%."

iosolomon: "Sigh. I really don't feel like sending all these emails. Jose should have let me be hours ago. And now there's still more texts I have to deal with."

Schala picks up the phone. She tells a lie. "I am going to sleep. Good-night."

iosolomon: "Clever. This will force him to wrap up the next text."

CM 5000: "But clearly, Jose was a fool."

Jose: "I grew to like the taste of the hemp oil lol. But I had to isolate away some flavors."

iosolomon: "A fool because that has no place in the conversation at this point."

Schala sends. "I am going to sleep. Good-night."

iosolomon: "I am losing my patience, Sage Rat, that I still have to finish up the other episodes. And I don't have any weed to do it with. So I want to get it over with. It's already 12:33. I don't want to be up all night again."

iTunes: "Sunny Afternoon, the Kinks, the Ultimate Collection."

iosolomon: ""No, really, with all these back and forth with the traveling and shit, it doesn't really look good on paper. But it'll look good on tv. In order to make it look good on paper, I have to do A LOT of work. And I really don't have the patience to do that because I should have a contract with South Park right now. But we can change the names of the characters. So what the fuck. Make my life easy. Too much right now. And Episode 30 is technically supposed to start. And this episode isn't over yet. So come on iTunes, this is my complaining. Give me a good song."

iTunes: "In Tango."

Emperor Hirohito: "This will work. I like the title."

King Solomon laughs. "How did they know it would please, Emperor Hirohito?"

CM 5000: "Follow me to the past."

42011291237420

CM 5000 and the Party smoke some weed on tv. present-day iosolomon doesn't get to smoke. future iosolomon smokes, however.

CM 1128: "Nov 28, 2012 11:56 PM"

Joseph: "That hospital is in NYC. There are amish everywhere. If DJ believes it's scripted, then it is what WILL happen. Option 'B. is a last resort, and only DJ can make that choice. If DJ makes a vow to kill himself, then he is making that choice by picking option 'B.' Either way it is his choice. But option 'A,' what DJ considers Phase 3, what is considered the purple story arc is next. Option 'A' is Columbia Presbyterian Hospital in NYC. It is written!"

iosolomon: "Do you want to go to Hell?" Jose tries to speak. Abraham speaks over him.

"Do you want to go to Hell? Yes, or no?"

Jose selects "Yes."

Abraham: "Very well. That's all I needed to know."

Abraham waits a few seconds, since Jose is actually saying go kill yourself.

Jose: ""Hell" is interpreted in so many ways. It is not a "yes" or "no" question."

iosolomon: "You can tell that to God upon your death. I said, do not contract me again."

past iosolomon began to type a text. "contact*. Do not contact me again.*" but it was never sent for some reason.

Joseph: "Ah, so you have chosen option 'B', seriously?"

iosolomon: "You are playing a seriously dangerous game. Unless you want to be sacrifices to the Korean God, shoo! "

Joseph: "3 days in one of the best and nicest hospitals in the world voluntarily...but you choose option 'B' in a mid-tier hospital. This is a choice YOU are making. I'm not even going to be the one to do anything. I'm only relaying the so-called script. Don't kill the messenger."

CM 1129: "Nov 29, 2012 12:17 AM"

Joseph: "I feel I would not be truthful if I didn't tell you. Now cheer up! Why are you getting mad."

King Solomon / Abraham: "I will not kill you if you do not violate my Commands. As God, I am commanding You to do everything in Your power to jeep [sic] me out of the hospital. I will kill every American, including you, if My First Amendment right is violated. I have made that Vow to God. There is no need for me to go to a mental hospital. My religious beliefs are my religious beliefs. Now, you have one more text before Abraham Himself will demand your execution. I suggest you say something to cheer me up."

Joseph: "Excellent times ahead Chief. I work for You."

Chef: "Hey, iTunes, can I do something here?"

iTunes: "I believe you can."

CM 1129: "Nov 29, 2012 12:42 AM."

Chef laughs. "Oh, but I really shouldn't. Well, no one will know."

Chef: "iTunes, can you contact Namingway for me?"

iTunes: "Namingway is on his way."

Namingway appears. "Who's name would you like to change?"

Chef: "Please change Joseph to Jose."

Namingway: "Very well. It is done."

Jose: "Excellent times ahead, Chef, I work for You!"

Chef: "Oh, sweet, I need some new help in the kitchen."

Jose and Chef walk to the kitchen, and start cooking.

Chef: "I was Quina in a past life."

Chef and Jose bring the feast out to Quina.

Quina: "FOOD!"

Quina starts feasting.

Chef: "Delicious, right?"

Quina: "MMMMM, VERY!"

Chef, Jose, and Quina have a great meal. After they leave, the two children from the Jurassic Park movie walk in, and start feasting...until the velocriraptors come.

Dr. Grant and Dr. Sattler blasts the two velocriraptors,

Chef and Joseph come running out with loaded shotguns. "Oh," says Chef, "they are dead already."

Dr. Grant: "Yeah, strangest story, there was this guy at the airport, and he told me to get to the kitchen. There was a note from Robert Muldoon. Dr. Sattler, do you still have it yet?"

Dr. Sattler: "Oh...yeah. Right here. It reads, 'I am sorry, Dr. Sattler, but I deceived you. There was a strange man who was able to show me that I die saving you, but he also showed me that I do not have to die to save you, I just have to trick you. If you are reading this, then God's speed! Save the children! They will be coming in the kitchen. It is very important that you wait until the last minute to fire because this will distract the giant t-rex that's following your scent. Good luck. And I'll see you at the copter!"

Chef: "I see. I was showed by that same strange man that if I didn't return with the shotgun you would all die."

Joseph: "He showed me that if he didn't lie to you then people will die in later Jurassic Park movies cause you would have killed the fuck out of the t-rex. The t-rex has to live."

Teddy: "And so the South Park world was saved. Even Newman!"

end of 42011291237420


	7. Chapter 7: Repairing Up My Heart

Chapter 7: Repairing Up My Heart

iosolomon: "Lol, Jose is back. Sorry I just get so angry at times: I get possessed. That's why I need to find a shaman! "

iosolomon: "Cecil. Select A."

Schala selects the A button.

Cecil and the party battle Milon Z who came from behind.

FF2 text: "Attacked from behind"

Milon Z: "Fall flat into...the deep ravine!"

Tellah uses Psyc, it hurts Tellah by 1 and heals Milon Z by 1.

The battle was smooth. Palom deals the final blow with Fire 2.

Milon: "What? You beat me twice."

Milon falls to the ledge of the bridge. Milon: "GRRRR-BAAAH!"

Milon falls.

FF2 text: "My son..."

iosolomon: "..."

Cecil: "Son!? Who are you?"

Cecil and the Party is brought into the stone tablet.

FF2 text: "I've been waiting. Sorrow fills me. I shall entrust you with my power. And grieve that no other way remains."

Cecil walks forward. We see his reflection in the window. Cecil receives a sword from the sky. Cecil changes into a new character.

FF2 text: "Part from your past! Conquer your Darkness within!"

In the mirror, we can still see his Dark self.

FF2 text: "If you can't overcome your past self, the sacred power of Light will not accept you!"

Then, from the mirror, his dark self comes running out.

Tellah: "Two Cecils?"

Palom: "What's going on?"

Porom: "Cecil!"

Cecil's Light Self Battles Dark Self. The Dark Self assaulted first.

Light Cecil talks a step back. Dark Cecil a step forward.

Tellah valiantly takes a step forward. Tellah: "Cecil!"

Palom, Porom follow. They take a step forward. Palom: "Hey! Dude!" Porom: "Watch out!"

Light Cecil turns around. "No need to help. This is my own fight! I must defeat him to amend my past guilt!"

Light Cecil turns around, and charges forward. Dark Cecil is pushed back into the Mirrors.

D. Knight Cecil uses a new power that Cecil didn't have before. It does 92 damage.

"To be a real Paladin." Cecil does 86 damage.

"you must not fight now."

Cecil uses cover.

"To be a real Paladin, you must not fight now."

Cecil confused. "What could he mean by that?" Cecil tries to run. "Argh, can't run!"

iosolomon mistyping: "?judyivr id noy yjr onlu tihjy in yjid eotlf domr fsu uou eill drr. ho\... vrv"

Dark knight. "Justice is not the only right in this world. Some day, you will see. Go...Cecil"

Dark knight: "Well done. Now I put my spirit into the power of Light and trust it to your hands. Receive the last Light left in me! My son! Stop Golbez!"

Cecil: "Wait!"

The screen flashes different colors. Red, blue, yellow, green, purple, magenta, light blue.

Cecil becomes Paladin.

Porom: "You all right?" Palom: "Right on!" Porom: "Hush!"

Cecil: "What is this I am feeling? It's so familiar. That voice..."

Tellah: "Oh, my!"

Porom: "Master Tellah?"

We see in the mirror that Cecil is the same.

Tellah: "Yes! I remember the spells!"

Tellah recalled all the spells he had forgotten.

Tellah: "!?"

iosolomon: "Someone else's dot dot dot should have been that."

Tellah: "Me..."

Tellah: "Meteo?"

Tellah: "That Light has bestowed upon me the greatest black magic!"

FF2 text: "Tellah learned Meteo."

Porom: "Grand Master that he is."

Palom: "Hey, Porom..."

Porom: "Cecil..."

Palom: "To tell you the truth, we..."

Tellah: "Okay, now! All's ready! Lets go and get Golbez!"

iosolomon: "Ah, jeez, so no one tells you the truth around here either..."

iosolomon_0: "Damn, I guess that means you didn't find the light either?"

iosolomon: "I thought maybe it was here."

Tellah: "What are you doing, Cecil? We must go!"

Cecil: "Yeah..."

Cecil turns and looks at the mirror.

Cecil: "But that Light... it called me...My son..."

Tellah walks out.

Palom; "Wait a sec!"

iosolomon_0: "Cecil, I can answer your question."

iosolomon: "Me too."

Porom: "Let us go, Cecil!"

Cecil: "Okay."

iosolomon: "Do you want to hear the truth?"

Cecil pauses to hear the truth.

iosolomon: "You are the Sun of God. Everyone in Your life has been lying to You. People, like Kain, They don't know. It's just all one big lie. Everything you've come to know. One big lie. The Elders, they died for THEIR sins. And they lied to YOU making you think it was Your fault. Their world is consumed by Evil, Your Father, the Sun, wants to destroy All. You, however, have to defeat the evil. Then, the Sun does not destroy."

iosolomon_0: "God."

Cecil: "And what about the mechanism of everything?"

iosolomon: "Oh, right, you are inside a video game, too."

Cecil: "A video game?"

iosolomon_0: "Yeah, but don't worry about that. We've told you the truth. Just, if you don't go back out there, and pretend like we didn't say anything, everyone in your life will go to Hell. Do you want them to go to Hell?"

Cecil: "Well, no, I don't want that."

iosolomon; "Good, then, when you get to the end, you'll be in Heaven."

Cecil: "? Wouldn't I already be there?"

iosolomon_0: "He is quick."

iosolomon: "It took me a while to absorb that. See, I want you to watch, for the next 10 hours of your life, everyone in your life is just going to keep lying to, but they could tell you what we just told you. But if you told them that we told you, it'll be less fun for you."

Cecil; "Well, 10 hours isn't that bad. I mean, I'm only 23. It would explain why everything seemed so easy in my life. I will go see what they have to say."

Cecil leaves.

Tellah: "Ah, crap, don't tell me we have to hike down this mountain."

Tellah tries to cast Exit. Doesn't work.

The Party walks down the mountain.

The Party battles more zombies.

Cecil gains 5 levels! Since he went back to level 1.

Next battle, more zombies, 7,

Cecil takes out one zombie

Porom and Palom cast Twin, aka Flare

Porom takes critical damage. Another Zombie is about to finish her. Cecil, with innate True Knight, takes the hit. Porom is saved.

Cecil strikes a critical blow to that zombie that just tried attacking.

Tellah casts Cure 2 to Porom.

Porom and Palom cast Flare, incinerating the remaining zombie.

The Party battles a random group of enemies.

The Party reaches the bottom. The Party saves.

iosolomon: "Well, this is where we leave."

iosolomon_0: "Good luck!"

Cecil "Thank you."

Porom: "See you!"

Palom: "It was nice meeting you."

Tellah: "Did you enjoy the food?"

Quina, dazed, "Delicious!"

Shadow: "Bye."

Schala: "This was fun. I wanna hike more sometime!"

iosolomon: "Alright, we'll hike back to town. This way, we can eat."

Quina: "That sounds good. Food!"

The Party battles two ravens. Cecil casts Peep. 941 HP. Weak against arrows.

Palom: "Then why are our arrows doing less damage than Cecil's attack?"

Porom: "Yeah, we're barely doing any damage."

Palom: "I'll burn the birds!"

Palom casts Fire 2, ending the battle both times.

Later on, another raven Tellah casts Fire 3. 1795 damage.

Schala: "What happens if you both try to cast twin with no MP?"

Porom and Palom try, nothing happens.

Back at town, the Party eats, and departs.

Schala: "Even though I said earlier, I'll say it again, this was fun. I hope we meet again soon."

The Party exits.


	8. Chapter 8: Shimmer

Chapter 8: Shimmer

iosolomon_0 and iosolomon merge back into one.

present-day iosolomon: "Ok, time to copy 28 into its correct file. I have to figure out now what to do about the diamonds in this one."

Mysidia music, in the background, sounds like "kuck-koo, kuck-koo."

iosolomon: "Yeah, I'll say."

iosolomon: "Hm, this could be episode 30."

iosolomon: "or is it 29, and make 28 really long, cause in 28, i want to copy and paste my Facebook and the other document, so iTunes, the answer is?"

Bob Marley: "You're having a crisis!"

iosolomon: "Ha ha ha."

present-day iosolomon: "Steiner!?"

Quina: "Yes, I like Steiner."

iosolomon: "Alright, well, Steiner was a Jew, so I'll have to decide this by Jew logic. Want to eat?"

Quina: "Mmm, sure."

Quina and iosolomon leave for the kitchen.

iosolomon: "So I decided that I should break Lost Pilot Episode 28 into two Parts. What do you think iTunes? In the first part, I include King Solomon's work, and in the second part, I include Emperor Hirohito's, and Lost Pilot Episode 29, well, that's when Emperor Kefka is born, and take a look, was this not related to him? In fact, was there not a miscellaneous space time continuum opened up to this episode by Emperor Hirohito Himself cause Emperor Kefka only speaks the truth. And, there is a Nation full of People that believe in the 10x rule cause that's what I instinctively do. Because, although I may be Abraham, I am now fused with 10 of my selves, technically 14, and all the others I may have been, they can be matched up to one of the 14. There is a symbol that God has always showed me. I didn't realize I have to do things completely upside-down, I was only fooling myself into thinking I could chose the 'purple' story arc, and then the 'orange' nope, I'm only young once, might as well go for the full circle that protects from the static, but Allah is one of those colors, he was the yellow in the illusion picture I drew. [He's red, but He choses forgiveness and mercy, so He is Yellow.] Shiva's child is the light blue, which is Emperor Kefka [well, actually Her, but like Mother Like Sun], and the true time keepers are the Japanese, drawn as black, but that black is to create a point, and finally, ALL around, is the true purity, which is that God did not make us to go to Hell, we make Hell for Ourselves...?"

Steiner: "How can you be so calm!? This is a very serious matter! Have you forgotten all the danger she faced just to get here!? What if something terrible happens to her!? What am I doing here!? I must go find her! Out of my way!"

Steiner: "No, you don't understand...! War is a terrible thing! You must never experience it as I have. I'm sorry, Princess. I cannot follow any orders that might put your life in danger."

Dagger: "...What if Alexandria is behind the attack on Burmecia? It could lead to war between the three great nations. Many innocent people will die... As the princess of Alexandria, there must be something I can do. I

have to help Mother... I don't want to see anything happen to her..."

Steiner: "... ...Very well. Princess, I will follow you wherever you choose."

Black Waltz No. 3: "Eliminate...all!"

Dagger's group fights Black Waltz No. 3. After Dagger's group defeated Black Waltz No. 3...

Dagger: "Why...? Why...? What did he want with me?"

Steiner: "Princess..."

Marcus: "Burmecia was attacked by an army of black mage soldiers..."

Dagger: "...I know."

Marcus: "Those mages wiped out the people of Burmecia..."

Dagger: "..."

Steiner: "Who would do such a thing?"

Marcus: "Are you serious!? How ignorant can you be!?"

Steiner: "What do you mean!?"

Dagger: "Stop it, Steiner... I know who did it."

Steiner: "Princess?"

Dagger: "We're almost in Alexandria... I must go to the castle and see my mother... She'll listen to me."


	9. Chapter 9: Open Your Heart

Chapter 9: Open Your Heart

iosolomon: "I don't want to read more about Steiner. Do I have to?"

iosolomon: "Jeez, what do I eat or drink? I'm reminded of meaningless, meaningless! Shiva wants diamonds. But, then what, so She gets them. Then, what? Ifrit, he wants them too, but he's still battling Shiva. Ifrit realizes there is a time limit. Ifrit will throw in the towel on December 21st."

iosolomon: "I don't know what's better, the funny end of the matrix, or the one where I get exactly what my heart desires. I'd rather be King Solomon, first, than Emperor Hirohito. Emperor Hirohito goes for the long-term. You can see this with Japanese Culture. The Forests they used for Their Temples have already been planted 200 years ago! King Solomon is just an indolent jew. Send you to Hell, He really does not care, the Bible is the Bible."

iosolomon: "But then He will feel so cold. He does not want to send anyone to Hell. He wants to bring You Heaven here on Earth. But better, Paradise!"

iosolomon: "I see that the sheet colors of my bed are the right color for when I start getting all the weed my heart desires."

Emperor Hirohito/King Solomon both want the good old laughs for the end of the matrix. "It's been long enough," they exclaim!

iosolomon: "But then my greatest concern right now, what if God isn't real? What if it's all just in my head? What if there are people out there able to read my thoughts? What if there are people influencing my dreams, my visions, my thoughts, through drugs, through chemicals, through the media? And so, it's like, what is the point? The only point for me would be to get to a state of 0 static. I do not like to hear the static. But then what is it, that I do hear the static? What is this static that I hear?"

iosolomon: "There were a few times when I heard the static of Heaven, but what is this static? Is it even real?"

iosolomon: "But I see it coming true. I see visions in less than a fraction of a second, and when I expand on them, I see good times ahead. Not just for me, but for the world. But then I have black visions, what if none of it's true?"

iosolomon: "You know, when my math instructor said that there was a group of people that killed themselves over irrational numbers, ha ha, that sounds like something I would do if I was 'discovering' mathematics for the first time. I want to achieve 0.0000000, but better. I just want to achieve '0.' I am tempted to kill myself now over irrational numbers. I like everything to be rational."

iosolomon: "Well, I will get some more food because I'm hungry. Quina, care to join?"

Quina and iosolomon go to the kitchen.

iosolomon: "But all of this is verifiable. Many of the things I've written. I say things just how they come to me. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong. If I'm right, well, that's awesome!"

iosolomon: "A bit spooky actually if some of these visions I see come true. I mean, the truth is, Japan obliterating America, that would have came true, had I not typed this."

Emperor Hirohito laughs. "Could you imagine? Could you imagine if We had to watch the Matrix come to an end that way. It would go."

[And so, we follow Emperor Hirohito to a parallel dimension that King Solomon is about to weep to.]

The power goes out. Cars go flying. Crashes are heard everywhere. Electronics, gone. Cell phones blowing up.

King Solomon: "Stop! I do not want to see anymore."

Emperor Hirohito: "But this is what Japan would do to America."

King Solomon starts hearing the static. "Turn it off! TURN IT OFF!"

The hospitals are unable to respond. The police cannot respond.

Food starts to spoil.

The military opens fire on its own citizens.

The Elite close their doors. They have all they need. They've planned for this.

King Solomon: "That is so horrible! I...I just..."

And, so, those who are fortunate to still live on farms, like the Amish, they continue to live. Not knowing what's going on.

But within three years, the remaining Americans, the remaining soldiers, gone, killed.

[The static subsides.]

King Solomon weeps for those People. "At least, that's not this dimension, RIGHT, EMPEROR HIROHITO!"

But then, Emperor Kefka laughs. "It could be. Emperor Hirohito no longer has control of His new body."

Emperor Kefka continues to laugh. "All I have to do is walk into a North Korean Embassy, and it shall be done."

King Solomon: "But I will spare you the phones exploding. That would be bad for Me when I return to Heaven if that happens."

but then Emperor Kefka stops laughing that His Brother choses to forgive the Americans.

Emperor Kefka: "They make a mockery out of Abraham! They make a mockery out of the gods and goddesses!"

The Party ignores this.

present-day iosolomon: "Yeah, let's just go back to the story."

iosolomon: "But I am now living in a dimension where My free will is altering things."

iosolomon: "But You still continue to listen to HER?!"

[The King Solomon takes us around in a circle.[

King Solomon: "Which means that I am less than her, which means that she is less the me, what type of system is that? But technically, I am less than her, and at the same time, she is less than me. We are equal. And we are above each other. And if it doesn't work that way, then I'll be damned. If I am truly greater, than that means I am so jewish that I couldn't trust anyone but myself. But I don't think that's how God is. Perhaps, God as a human. But definitely not when you die."

King Solomon: "I'm only weird/evil down here to ensure that the integrity of free will is preserved."

King Solomon: "Suicide is fine, except if someone is killing themselves, it's usually going to be the people in their lives that will go to hell when they die."

iosolomon: "That poor kid, Josh Hall, if you haven't paid your debt to God / society, those parents who were negligent, couldn't do a good job of raising a family, well, you should fear death. Really, cause true God now has to deal with an untimely death, and you better be sure to have a good excuse. But depriving someone of their right to suicide is worse. If they want to die, and be judged by God, let them. Suicide doesn't necessarily anger the gods, what angers them is the fact that hypocrisy and arrogance led to that person's death. As in, the fact that someone has to resort to suicide."

iosolomon: "Like with the GW bridge incident, those roommates, they have nothing to worry about. But the parents of that kid who jumped, the other people in his life, well, those are the ones who have to fear."

iosolomon: "And now what does society do? What do the parents do? They take their anger out on the innocent man and woman in the eyes of God instead of looking at their own sins that led to his death in the first place."

iosolomon: "Too many people who are dying today find themselves being sent to Hell. This is not good."

iosolomon: "If I am God, I designed these systems to work just like that. Just like a matrix. And honest, I cannot stress it enough, the fact I am typing this, I always thought this.

iosolomon: "I would have said this around the age of 5th/6th grade, and i would have been much more faith-based at 7."

present-day iosolomon sighs. "Really, did I really have to type this all out? Come on, America, cut me break!"

iosolomon: "I might as well address the topic of psychopathology. For those psychopaths, wrath is only left up to God to slaughter the sheep and pigs of society. If you are going around killing black people who murder and rob, that's good. You have nothing to worry about with God, although you do have something to worry about with the Law. But when you are slaughtering someone as innocent as the Ukrainians, whose only sin is being born into a world of sin, then is not good, and you should fear death. True God does not want you to take out the sheep. But if you are killing the wicked men and women at the top of the chain, that's okay, except that's harder to do. But, be careful, even if you kill someone who deserves it, that doesn't necessarily mean you won't go to Hell. Thou shall NOT kill is One of the Ten Commandments."

present-day iosolomon sighs. "I really hope no one misunderstands what I am trying to say. Thou shall not kill is what I am trying to say."

King Solomon: "iTunes, do I need to re re-read this? I really don't want anything to be misconstrued."

iTunes: "No, the Bible fills in any gaps that you may have left out. So let's get retarded!"

4201203340420

The Party smokes weed. future iosolomon in particular.

But, then, King Solomon hears the static, and weeps for the victims of psychopaths.

end of 4201203340420

present-day King Solomon: "Wait, let's end this on a positive note. One more song, iTunes!"

4201203342420

Ayla appears through the Internet. "Why so sad? Cheer up! Here!"

The Party with Ayla smokes.

sd14: "Whoa, iTunes, is just tobacco safe to smoke? I know that cigarettes are bad to smoke - they put addicting chemicals in the cigarettes - and yet, they lie about it! But, what about just tobacco? Cause Ayla brought with her tobacco."

future iosolomon: "Yeah, I'm having serious qualms about smoking tobacco...when I'm watching this..."

iTunes says that it is okay if you want to smoke just weed instead.

future iosolomon: "Thanks, iTunes!"

sd14 double-checks.

The Party did not smoke what Ayla brought, they showed her the benefits of cannabis.

present-day King Solomon laughs. "This doesn't even make sense anymore."

end of 420120342420


	10. Chapter 10: Tranquility

Chapter 10: Tranquility

iosolomon: "But you're still hungry."

Quina: "How did you know?"

iosolomon: "We'll eat some more. Hey want to watch something cool?"

Quina: "Sure."

iosolomon: "So if you count this as song 1 and song 0, both prophecies will come true. Interesting."

Quina: "I'm not following."

iosolomon: "Oh, sorry, I Disappear, Metallica, was already loaded up. But I didn't play it yet. So in a way, it counts as song 1, but in reality, I should have skipped it for the white vision."

Quina: "Still the one esther searching for friends scared this is ain't a scene, it's an arms race."

iosolomon: "5...but sheesh, that was a long title. That has Sage Rat's signature on it."

Sage Rat: "Ha ha ha."

Quina: "Cocaine pimsleur spanish ii lesson 09 complicated cleaning out my closet passion orchestra!3 not gonna get us."

iosolomon: "Hmm, and with all those clues, I'm supposed to come up with how to save the party."

iosolomon: "From all that, the only thing I can conclude is to search for the Isis treasures. I added an extra 'is' and I did not mean to do that. Well, I look forward to seeing if that is the next questt."

iTunes: "The Logical Song."

iosolomon: "Googling the Isis Treasures."

Google: "Did you mean Iris Treasures?"

iosolomon: "Oh yes, ha ha."

Google: "The Iris Treasures are: the Iris Sword, the Iris Shield, the Iris Helmet, the Iris Ring, the Iris Pot, the Iris Tiara, the Iris Armor, the Iris Jew, the Iris Staff. And this is ambiguous for me to process, but the Ancient Jelly is the 10th Iris Treasure."

iosolomon: "Of course, the Iris Pot."

iosolomon: "And what about dividing 28 into Parts 1 and 2, with the first part being King Solomon, and the second part being Emperor Hirohito?"

iosolomon: "Because I mean. ok I'll do the three then."

iTunes plays games with iosolomon, Emperor Hirohito asks.

Emperor Hirohito: "Should I make an episode for each? Or should 29 be it?"

iTunes says to work on 28.

Emperor Hirohito: "Because there always seems to be this 3 day rule after the moon passes that I have noticed, within 3 days, like a robot, like clock work, I just change. Where I still have mercy, prudence, and patience, that could literally be gone in 3 days. I could just be on my way to the rocks, and I see it, so stubborn that I don't even listen to music, and then around mile [marker] 50, I give in, despite Emperor Kefka's demand that I allow Him to get powers. And, I say, I'll pick the songs. And then, Emperor Kefka agrees, and then, I talk him into hitting shuffle, and then Sage Rat is able to change his mind about the rocks. And then Emperor Kefka is no longer angry, the static will be gone, and then he will be angry that they won't let him die. Even though he'll be thankful cause at this point, he'll be able to feel. And that is what I see happening. But, it's over something so silly, and it's not jose, it's itunes? Or maybe it's just myself. But, no, I am angry. I am legitimately angry. What would get me so angry that I would drive to the rocks like this? And this time, NO ONE did anything wrong. But how can I be angry if no one does anything wrong. Well, anyways, I'm just describing what will most likely happen in 3 days, but i don't' see the rocks for a while, and it's before Kailie comes back home, hm, Well, off to Episode 28."

sd: "hey iTunes should i proofread 27 one more time or post it as is?"

sd0: "ok out of respect for just me iosolomon i await your answer at the end of this song."

Emperor Kefka: "1...2...3 skip a few...end of song!"

iosolomon: "So it is whatever I want to do but sheesh. If I made mistakes I want to fix it. Did I make too many mistakes? "

sd: "Ok I think I'll read through it one more time. Good?"

iTunes: "Bang a gong"

iosolomon: "Yeah, I wish I had a bong. ok proofreading music haha."

iTunes puts on proofreading music. iosolomon laughs.


	11. Chapter 11: Behind Blue Eyes

Chapter 11: Behind Blue Eyes

Emperor Kefka: "Is this true Japan? Did Emperor Hirohito not tell You that He was also ME?!"

iosolomon: "When I read about his history, the enlightened peace, that's just bullshit. He wants peace in the Pacific. He wants peace to get rid of me [His half-brother, Emperor Kefka]. But he does not want peace with America [unless America choses peace, choses to lay down Her weapons]. Like, come on, did no one really know that King Solomon became a crazy insane Korean Emperor? But I've seen myself write this before. I do not understand, didn't you already read what I have to write? "

present-day iosolomon: "Or maybe King Solomon was a crazy Korean Emperor first. But you, the people who are reading this before it's posted to the internet, know, ha ha."

Emperor Kefka: "But...no...really...this is why I am so miserable."

"I don't even know who's typing. The meaningless feel descends. Because then I ask myself, America would be wiped out within 3 years. Then, what we do? Kill each other? That's so distasteful. That is what Emperor Kefka would want BUT, at that point, Emperor Kefka could be disobeyed, with having to worry about the Sun turning out UNLESS I am true God Himself. I may just be King Solomon, or I may just be Abraham. You see, if you have indisputable proof, then the entire world ends up like FF6. But these thoughts, they are temporary. Emperor Kefka is very easy to keep at the light blue color. The tv show Le Louche of the Rebellion, that's me. And it doesn't take much to keep him happy, and it doesn't take much to keep me happy, but America is not keeping me happy. So it's like I destroy America, then what do I do? There is no reason to fight the Muslims because they do not cause the static. There is no reason to fight the Vikings. So then we kill the rest of Europe. And then what. Wait until entropy sets back in? I want to be light blue! The color of my Mother! I do not want to be pure transparent black. But the trance of hating America has already begun. It started before the full moon. Who the hell is Emperor Hirohito kidding, he IS an ultra nationalist. It's just that, who does Japan fight? Korea? No, I was also a Korean Emperor. China? No, but I don't remember being anyone in China. China confuses me a bit. I was not Confucius. I tell you, it's almost like Japan created All of Asia. I used to have these vivid dreams of that. All the problems, everything, just there for sport. The people don't know. But the top knows. Because one vision I had, well the colors, I wrote these on the internet."

"But Japan is true black. It is the only way to have true light. The worst nightmare I have is the damn Japanese Imperial Cult preparing for their final battle. It's just like that game starcraft, except worse, evil is winning, evil wins, then Japan has to start all over. And that does not please me at all. at all. because then, following this vision, that is how true god gets summoned. And it works just how I described to jose. Why do you think that Japan, in the tv show, was like it's own independent nation even though the rest of the world had like 100x the number of Japanese. Because once you kill me...I am pretty sure that true god descends upon the heavens. descends from the heavens. I mean , isn't this Heaven? whew coming back to normal. that is, Abraham is speaking to me. "

"damn it, man, it must be so cool to watch this evolution. i did not realize that kefka was as insane as i thought. just like a month ago, i was so against nuking any cities. but kefka, he's the 10 x rule. jose spoke with emperor kefka tonight. lol. this is why i drive to the rocks. I'm just so insane this month. Let's see my deadly 7 sins."

Shiva - Envy [In this case, hypocrites dies].

Emperor Kefka - Sloth [Yup, destroy destroy destroy cause he forgot to do his Bible reading, and being the Sun of God, it does not matter what He does].

Father Abraham - WRATH [Why is His Sun so slothful...BECAUSE OF WICKEDNESS!]

King Solomon - Lust [1,000 wives, although that's only half the story].

Emperor Hirohito - PRIDE!

Ra - Gluttony - I remember there just being endless orgies in Egypt as the Sex God there.

and, last but not least,

iosolomon - GREED! Oh yeah, I'm just a typical American. "Money?! Money?! Did you say money?!"

Cartman appears. "Money?!"

iosolomon: "No, not yet."

"And I want to be protector of free will, that is what God created."

past Emperor Kefka: "AH! I HEAR SO MUCH STATIC! I just HATE America so much right now! SO MUCH!"

iOSolomon: "Why didn't you turn the matrix off sooner?! I still would have become these people, but then there wouldn't be any static."

Lord Kefka: "I am the Lord, child, I will heal you of your pain."

present-day time there is no static...not yet...

But, iTunes, revives Emperor Kefka.

I spoke too soon, now Emperor Hirohito wants to annihilate America. "I remember those "

"oh just shut up you know that there are millions of people who are listening to you right now. Don't remind them. Most of them that memory is deeply buried. Don't revive it."

Emperor Kefka laughs.


	12. Chapter 12: Static-X

Chapter 12: Static-X

iosolomon: "Anyways, you know what I really want to know actually, and I've been meaning to ask iTunes.

How in the world do we get Justin to work at Shop Rite? So that means the matrix is still going on 'Wonderful,' thinks Emperor Kefka. "

iosolomon: "But i do chose Japan first because if Kefka has it his way, there's no point to anything. We use up the 11/10. Asia gets the best show. Asia destroys all evil. And then there is world peace, and i enter into the bottomless pit until my children go around and fuck things up again."

iosolomon: "But, this time, things are different. I didn't hate America just 3 days ago. Now I despise America. Where is Abraham Lincoln? He's buried. He was arrogant. Until I pointed out that the Supreme Court, the god damn supreme court violated the Laws under God. THE SUPREME FUCKING COURT! "

iosolomon: "Congress and the President, so they make mistakes, but the Supreme Court, their job is simple, they only have to worry about 4000 words. THATS ALL! Does this violate the United States Constitution? They don't even have to do any work because the work is already done before it even gets up to them. All they have to do is look at the Constitution. Like what the fuck is wrong with this country?"

iosolomon: "And why does it take so long for there to be Justice? And why are the punishments so cruel? You get raped...and you go to jail. You get lied to...and you go to jail. You get sprayed with a water gun...and you go to jail. "

present-day iosolomon laughs at the latter. "The person who was sprayed with a water gun forgot to pay a parking violation fine. They didn't go to jail for being hit with a water gun. They drove their car into my car while driving, so I did what the Law dictates, contact the police, and that is why the police officer looked up their information in the system."

iosolomon: "And since when the United States Supreme Court feel it has the right to remove capital punishment? If the Supreme Court truly wants to exert that right, very well. HOWEVER, you can't have it half and half. If the People want to abolish it, that's one story. But if the Supreme Court does, then by that same logic, they have to also lower the speed limit on all roads to 10 miles per hour (maybe 25 on highway), halt construction of any high-rise building, and many other extreme measures. It is an unfortunate byproduct of capital punishment, AND swift Justice, that innocent people get executed. However, if the Justice System works how it is supposed to in America, then AT MOST, no more than 5% of all sentenced to death would be truly innocent. And as capital punishment is applied swiftly and effectively, the number of people even looking at capital punishment will decrease. You would get so many more confessions, right off the bat. The worse is sending an innocent person to death, but if the Prosecutor is doing his job, he isn't going to be careless."

present-day iosolomon: "I get goosebumps typing this up. It's like, why does a Prosecutor even have to make an argument for capital punishment?"

present-day iosolomon: "But then we abruptly change moods."

Emperor Kefka laughs.

iosolomon: "The destruction of Sacramento is just so I could get a good laugh. That's so bad. Who is upset by that? It's clearly not Kefka. It's not Hirohito. Solomon is not upset by it either. He is pleased that the Koreans know what HONOR is. Abraham Lincoln isn't too upset either, now that he realizes how angry Abraham is over the violation of the 4th Commandment. Abraham Lincoln even wonders, 'Did I have to go through a bullshit matrix?' It did take Abraham Lincoln, a righteous man, quite a while to climb the ladder. 'Why?' he wonders."

iosolomon: "But who is it that is upset? Man, too bad I couldn't see my reincarnation timeline."

iosolomon: "It's like this, if I am both Emperor Hirohito and Abe Lincoln, then I wonder, did the Japanese know? Did Emperor Hirohito know? And who would I have been after Abraham Lincoln from 1865-1920."

Emperor Kefka laughs knowing what iosolomon is about to say.

iosolomon: "But an even funnier laugh for Emperor Kefka would be watching the execution of the entire families of the two thieves."

iosolomon: "The third thief, Tyler Lee Russell, his Soul pleased Emperor Kefka. He was General Lee Russell, or so he reminded me of. Or, perhaps, Robert Grant."

iosolomon: "But, ah, the two other thieves, PJ A, and the fat one, M Dog. I would have no problem ensuring that They all want to Hell in the after-life, that is what makes Emperor Kefka happy."

Emperor Kefka starts laughing while iosolomon was thinking of the words on how to communicate it.

iosolomon: "But PJ's Mom is a coke head, good-bye for failing to raise your son properly. But now my empathy returns. Whew, I found my Atman. Whew."

iosolomon: "Who I am, 'I find it wrong to slaughter animals. I do not mind so much chickens, they are annoying. But that's about it. Even killing cows disturbs me a little. And pigs especially disturb, because of the innocent nature of their souls.' But I am no saying, do not eat pig, do not cow. I am just saying. One day, I'll probably be eating bacon, so ain't trying to be a hypocrite."

iosolomon laughs. "Ha ha ha, why do you guys make so many sound effects, especially with the tv and computer monitor? What'cha trying to communicate with me?"

iosolomon: "And then it's like i wonder, what if the world really is flat. Then you would know everything i say is true. But that would be a bad nightmare, because who doesn't want star wars? Or gundam wing? But before those movies, there's le louche. When i was watching that, i don't know if you guys read my mind, but i thought, 'this person is exactly like me, even looks like me, just prettier.' "

iosolomon: "My favorite scene, and this stands out so well in my memory, was when Le Louche ordered the soldiers to kill themselves, and they did lmao. I mean, would that not be the wisest first order to issue to test the limits of your powers. If they actually commit suicide, then you know that anything else you ask for, you will get it."

iosolomon: "But i do not want a blind younger sister, i hope she gets sight cast on her soon. That is, I hope her lines within the matrix if the matrix is still going on are pro-American [not ignorant]."

Emperor Kefka laughs. "I DESTROY IGNORANCE!"

sd0 even laughs. "It's just like Thanatos lol. It's just like Thanatos. Lead the world to peace by destroying ignorance."

iosolomon: "Abraham Lincoln now forgives my sister [when he had previously considered her execution]. Because, at the end of the day, she only violated One of the Ten Commandments. Emperor Kefka points out, the thieves violated TWO!"

iosolomon: "My Atman can speak. Oh no, then i get the static."

King Solomon runs.

iosolomon: "King Solomon won't let me type anything out. He wants the static to subside. He wants me to forget what I was thinking. The Jap possesses me, King Solomon's heart beats slightly faster. But King Solomon slows the beating down through meditation to prevent Emperor Hirohito from gaining control. This is strange to me. One side of me wants JUSTICE, and the other side wants WISDOM! King Solomon won't let me typing anything out related to Japanese, or Korean, or even, Chinese, Justice. But, he wants to me throw out, if M Dog was the reincarnation of Mussolini, then he's off the hook, although he did not strike me as having the intellect of Mussolini. I am still looking for Mussolini as well. And PJ can be off the hook if he was some type of prominent Greek figure in a past life. That is the wisest, forgive them for their past deeds, says King Solomon. Emperor Hirohito is pleased, they were only acting after all. Emperor Kefka is pleased as well because Emperor Hirohito is showing him the light. 'We would not want to kill a friend.'"

iosolomon: "The static has ended. King Solomon was victorious in sparing those people's parents. but, at any point, Emperor Kefka could return, because..."

Emperor Kefka laughs: "I do not listen to jews!"

King Solomon laughs a little as well. "You are right, how very jewish of me."

Even Emperor Hirohito was fooled by the Jew logic. "No friend of mine would steal from me!"

iosolomon sighs. "Who do I listen to? Who do I listen to? Why did my Mother [Shiva] have to summon ABRAHAM!"

iosolomon: "If I was merely Emperor Hirohito, or Emperor Kefka, I would listen to King Solomon. But, Abraham. This is not good. This is not good."

iosolomon: "As in, the other day, I was against more than 4 nukes. But Kefka's heart desires 10x...there wouldn't be any America left! No shit why the South wants to secede. At this point, Kefka doesn't know if he can change his mind, even if Ron Paul is President."

sd0 laughs. "Wait until you see what Emperor Kefka does to Ron Paul in a future episode that was just written!"

iosolomon: "He says..."

Emperor Kefka: "Just think about it. No more Boston! No more Manhattan! (Let's keep Philly, since it would be a waste to use a nuke AC, and ruin South Jersey.) No more DC! No more Detroit! No more Cleveland! No more Pittsburgh! No more Vancouver (you allied with the wrong side Canada, against God)!"

Emperor Kefka laughs at his words. "It's like what are your people supposed to do. Because if they defy God now, they won't be happy when they die."

Emperor Kefka: "No more Seattle! No more Sacramento! No more San Francisco! Canada, I'll make a deal with you, if you sacrifice your cities, you can move to the south. No more Quebec! No more Toronto! (cause I don't want to punish the Confederacy. Technically, they did have a right to secede, just that slavery should have been abolished, but Kefka however, well, he does not care if they had slaves, whereas Abraham, the Father, was against slavery. Kefka he is currently against it because he's, well, I, am not insane yet.)

No more Denver!"

Then, there was a blinking symbol on my computer to help return me to normal.

iosolomon: "Let me now travel to search my heart. "

Emperor Kefka: "But Korea and I, we would have the best laughs ever! What is wrong with using 11/10? I do not need to kill myself if America is destroyed."

Pure Black Atman: "Why, then, I can lead the world to peace, and never have to be awoken from my slumber!"

[And so, despite the pleas of the Americans, Emperor Kefka decides to destroy them ALL!]

Emperor Kefka: "What are you so afraid of? Judgment by true God for your treachery? That I am depriving you of your chance to repent? You knew this day was coming."

iosolomon: "But wait, did no one really know that I was Emperor Kefka? I find that hard to believe. That's just a bullshit lie Jose told me. And why did Jose get the nervous breath? He has nothing to fear, not anymore. I told him that, and he still had the nervous breath. What does he care if America, or the people in my life are executed? He, on his own free will, made the decision to tell me the truth. Everyone else had the chance to."

Emperor Kefka: "So it's like this, for the record. Anyone who has hit like or left a comment to anything on my Facebook, they will be spared. Prior to this day of November 30th. Any comment even if it was mean or insulting, except for Tom Martin at this time. Oh, but which side of me wants to show sympathy. Hirohito is back. He's like Kami..."

iosolomon laughs: "Great, now my life is like DBZ."

iosolomon: "Emperor Kefka is Piccolo. Emperor Hirohito is Kami, but more like, Android 16, he has his specific orders, and that's all he's gotta do. Emperor Hirohito is willing to put the 10x rule aside, the destruction of america aside, the enlightened peace he advocated for, kefka's power comes from the fact that you had EVERYONE in my life violate the 4th Commandment. "

Emperor Kefka laughs: "EVERYONE! HA HA HA!"

iosolomon laughs. "I just don't understand. What were people in my life told is the reason for the matrix?"

iosolomon: "What would you have to say to me to get me to disobey God, assuming I grew up in their shoes..?"

iosolomon: "Perhaps, it was simply, this is just the reincarnation of Emperor Hirohito, or King Solomon, you cannot tell him. So no one knew who I really was. That makes me sad a little because you know what Abraham has to deal with if we execute them?"

And you heard me mock them with Jose once,

"But GOD we didn't knowwwwwwwwwwww."

That is not good to say to God. Just to tip you off. If you are about to be executed, you should be ready for your argument with God. true God, Abraham, does have time for everyone. but sometimes, you are judged instantly you just return to earth, not to hell, not to heaven, which makes me so ANGRY that America is failing the world. Now, I get to be Abraham, here to prevent wrath now.

Emperor Kefka: "NO! You said that they would be at MY mercy!"

iosolomon: "It is because I listened to 'God's' Plan for America."

Emperor Kefka's deadly sin is definitely sloth. He's like the Sun of God, so He will get what He wishes. But if He is slothful, His Desires are out-of-sync with God, but not out-of-sync, just that God did not create to destroy or send to Hell. Why? Why would God do that? But God did not create wickedness, You did.

Now, I hear the static of true God's wrath, which God wants His incarnation to experience, but, at the same time, no i just don't understand, why all of a sudden do i start thinking about nuking 20 american cities? WHY? Russia gets some nukes in [-Emperor Kefka laughs at this], Japan, Korea, China, Vietnam, the Philippines, well, wasn't it a Vietnamese person in that video the other night, the one who wants to forgive Americans? But, they are part of a system that they allow. And can they not see the future? It IS a slippery slope...We do not want an world, because a real-life Will Smith most likely wouldn't be successful.

the meaningless feeling returns.

"You see, I just honestly don't understand, Obama is cool and all, but really, why did the Americans vote for him a second time? Confederacy, you are still part of America. i mean would you still be seceding if romney had won? If you wanted to secede, it should have been in 99. but if i wake up to find out that ron paul is president, that would not be good either. because that means everyone lied again, except, if ron paul was president then Emperor Kefka vows to not destroy any city in the South [Emperor Kefka: "But, not necessarily, Ron Paul...for lying!"]. Because the reason why Emperor Kefka is even thinking about the 10x rule is because people did not listen to me, to Abraham. Ron Paul may or may not be Benjamin Franklin, but he definitely has the Kami [Spirit] of Benjamin Franklin, which to Me, Emperor Hirohito, a Shinto, is the same damn thing.

I do not know how I can turn my anti-american sentiment off. I like Kirsten Gillibrand. I do not want to cause her pain. She would hear the static to the same extent I do, this I just know. I am sure everyone will hear the static, but others hear it worse,

although Dallas and Oklahoma City should still be nuked even if they are CSA. Tulsa is a good city.

Emperor Hirohito: "Here, Emperor Kefka, why don't you go through every city and make a list?"

King Solomon decides that HE wants to do that.

Emperor Kefka is pleased. If King Solomon agrees, then Emperor Kefka has someone who can back him up. Besides, it's crybaby Solomon that poses the greatest threat to Kefka.

I, iosolomon, am King Solomon. I chose Him to be. But the Jews do not care. The Koreans care, and they care about EVERY dark wish of Kefka. Being King Solomon I chose a different path. I chose the Path of the Lord.


	13. Chapter 13: I Love You Not

Chapter 13: I Love You Not

King Solomon: "San Diego, definitely keep. Los Angeles, poison or bombs. No nuke since it's too close to San Diego. San Francisco, nuke, although I have to consider the pollution to the fish here. Sacramento, if a third and fourth city had to be nuked, Sacramento is ideal. Portland, hmm. Seattle, only if I want to get rid of Portland. Vancouver, only if Seattle goes. Idaho is good. Montana is good. Wyoming is good. Salt Lake City, nuke. Oh, I have a visitor."

Joseph Smith: "Wait, can't you give the Mormons a chance? Remember, true God gave them a chance in 2050."

King Solomon: "I agree. Salt Lake City and Utah, good. Las Vegas, nuke. Phoenix and Tucson, too close to Mexico. Albuquerque, I had a good time. Santa Fe, that is the Land of the Native Americans. Denver, nuke. Dallas, Fort Worth, nuke, nuke. Oklahoma City, nuke. Tulsa is good. New Orleans, I don't know about this one. I say no due to the environment. The original Confederacy from east of Dallas, north to Memphis, good. But Memphis, nuke. Knoxville, nuke. Nashville, good."

King Solomon laughs. "Am I really saying all this? Oh, boy."

King Solomon: "Atlanta, well sorry Confederacy, I forgot about them, nuke. Cleveland, Detroit, as already established, nuke. Columbus, Cincinnati, good. Richmond..."

Abraham Lincoln: "Definitely nuke."

King Solomon laughs. "Abe sure doesn't like Richmond."

King Solomon starts to laugh like a jew. "Poor Abe."

King Solomon: "Pittsburgh, I would like to keep. Boston, nuke. Manhattan, nuke."

iosolomon: "Not sure the exact name of the following person, but Czar speaks."

Czar: "Nuke it was a CZAR NUKE, from Russia, with Love!"

King Solomon: "Washington, DC, nuke."

Abraham Lincoln: "Too many bad memories."

King Solomon laughs. "Remember that movie, Austin Powers, and how they all jumped under the table when Dr. Evil showed them footage of Independence Day. That scene keeps re-playing in my head right now."

King Solomon: "I would nuke more cities, but the Native Americans really do have favor with true God that they had to deal with such subjugation and oppression. I do not want to destroy Their Land. In fact, They please the Spirits."

iosolomon laughs: "Why am I even typing this up?"

King Solomon laughs: "I was wondering the same thing."

Emperor Kefka: "Now, if these cities are to be nuked, they do not get the advantage of knowing when. This is WAR. However, if America retailiates, well, you'll just have to execute me, so that I can destroy the sinners."

Emperor Kefka: "CM 5000, what is the count?"

CM 5000: "20 if you take out Portland, Seattle, and Vancouver."

Emperor Kefka: "I want to annihilate the People in Las Angeles, and give that city to the People of Vancouver. The People of Las Angles shall die in Vancouver, after walking! "

King Solomon: "That's a great plan!"

iosolomon: "Ok, too evil for me [with what else Emperor Kefka was about to say]. Let me type!"

iosolomon: "I don't know what to do iTunes. This is what Emperor Kefka wants, and Emperor Hirohito supports him. And King Solomon says, 'If that's what your Justice calls for.' The 10x rule is a fair rule when you violate a Law under true God. I only had to institute it twice over my scripted life, once with Shawn, and who was the other person, I can't remember. I tried to do it with Devon, but wasn't close enough, only to find out that I was 'technically' wrong."

Emperor Kefka: "I really don't want to destroy America deep down. I only want to destroy America if I have to show up at court on December 17th. This I will make a Vow."

present-day Emperor Hirohito: "Fortunately, I can cancel Emperor Kefka's vows. Japan is above Korea."

present-day iosolomon laughs: "Such a nationalist you are."

present-day Emperor Hirohito: "No, it is not like that. You already said all. I do not want to keep repressing."

present-day King Solomon: "No, dude, now Marge Simpson is about to appear."

Marge Simpson: "Emperor Hirohitooo..."

present-day Emperor Hirohito: "The Land of Japan truly was blessed by the gods and goddesses."

[Back to the past?]

iosolomon: "Yes. I agree."

Emperor Hirohito: "I agree as well."

Abraham: "They waste my precious time on earth. This is a fair solution."

King Solomon / iosolomon: "If I have to show up for court on December 17th, I will leave for a North Korean Embassy thereafter, and ask for this destruction. If, for some reason, the Americans illegally arrest, consider this a Vow to God. All those cities shall be nuked within a 3 day period, 5 per day for each day I am locked up."

present-day Emperor Hirohito: "But I want to make this clear, if I am detained, and have no way of communicating to the Japanese, I declare War against the United States of America."

present-day iosolomon: "I will say, 'I am the Sun of God. As such,"

present-day Emperor Hirohito laughs. "What do we even say in such a case?"

present-day iosolomon: "Ok, scratch that. Obviously, if I end up in jail, it was part of Emperor Hirohito's system. Woe is me, woe is me."

Emperor Kefka: "Actually, that does not please me."

Emperor Kefka: "Korea, while I am at Court, one city is to be nuked. Just one. I am pretty sure the Americans will tell me the truth after that. I don't care WHAT they have planned at Court."

present-day Emperor Hirohito laughs aloud: "Oh shit! Emperor Kefka, come on, retract those words."

present-day Emperor Kefka, despite his better judgment, "Fine! I retract those words."

present-day Emperor Hirohito is relieved. "I personally will reconsider all of this on December 21st. I do not want to find myself sitting in jail, and laughing my ass off that 20 cities were just nuked. That would not be good because America can be saved."

Abraham Lincoln akes off the mask. "I do not care what they might have planned at Court. This is not good tv for me anymore. I did not incarnate to deal with a Matrix that the Japanese designed."

iosolomon: "Should I go kill myself?"

Abraham Lincoln: "Yes."

iosolomon contemplates. "I do not care if I return from the dead to cast wrath. I have far more important things to do."

iosolomon contemplates further. "I would find myself in Heaven upon My Death, never to incarnate again. However, if God works how Abraham said to Jose, then I will turn off the Sun."

iosolomon muses, "What would happen if the Sun was turned off."

Emperor Kefka laughs. "Together, We can watch that in Heaven. Come, join me!"

Emperor Hirohito does not care. "At this point, it is Dishonorable to Me that they continue to keep me deprived in this matrix. I have no money, no weed, parents who ANGER Abraham."

present-day Emperor Hirohito: "I feel so foolish saying that. I DESIGNED THIS DAMN MATRIX! I just can't remember when it turns out. But if it isn't by the end of this month, I will not ask for the destruction of America, but I will have no choice but to walk into a Japanese Embassy, and request the nuking of the two cities. I suspect, however, that I am getting maced sometime later this month..."

present-day King Solomon: "Yeah, you know, what's with that? Why would you ask for that? Yeah, yeah, so your half-brother doesn't consume, but thanks, you're making me suffer with you!"

iosolomon: "And don't forget, they could give you money overnight through that stock. Could they not?"

Emperor Hirohito: "What is the story with this, Japan?"

iosolomon starts to get the suicide thought. My body heats up with rage.

iosolomon: "Ok. I will do that."

iosolomon: "iTunes, riddle me this, riddle me that, can I commit suicide by carbon monoxide poisoning?"

King Solomon: "Eh...don't have me ask."

Emperor Hirohito: "I don't want to test the matrix yet. It's not me who wants you to jump."

Emperor Kefka: "Can I commit suicide by carbon monoxide poisoning?"

Emperor Kefka: "Yes, or no..."

iosolomon: "Thanks for the answer iTunes. I was worried you wouldn't. The answer was no. But that could be a lie since I would already be dead if I knew for certain I could kill myself by CO poisoning."

iosolomon: "Well, I won't be killing myself tonight. I still have Lost Pilot Episode 28, 29, and 30 to do!"

Abraham Lincoln: "However, be warned, when the South Park Prophecy

iosolomon laughs, "You call it South Park Prophecy."

Abraham Lincoln cracks a smile, but does not laugh. "However, be warned, when iosolomon's work is caught up to present-day..."

Emperor Hirohito: "That is when the trip to the rocks will be taken. How predictable."

Quina: "PIZZA!"

present-day iosolomon: "yikes" musing over what i typed and officially posted

iosolomon slams his hands into his head. "WHY DID THE AMERICANS BRING DISHONOR TO THE ASIANS!?:!?1?!1?!"

Emperor Kefka laughs. "They want to be DESTROYED...BY ME!"

iosolomon; "Did Emperor Hirohito designed this matrix to revive his past life? I know that Emperor Hirohito had to have known who He was, whether or not He told anyone of You...I swear, it's like, He designed this with the purpose of the complete and total annihilation of America...and Jews...except for Noah..."

iosolomon laughs. "Oh man, remember in episode 28, Emperor Hirohito's posting on my Facebook."

Emperor Kefka: "Oh no! Not Tabby!"

iosolomon: "Yikes! Kailie! Not Tabby!"

[I just read my cousin's post about his cat execution. 'The prophecy shall come true.' Then that means people are really reading this?! You have to be kidding me. This is garbage. Garbage I say. I am not...)

Emperor Hirohito: "I am not Emperor Hirohito. I am NOT of Divine Power. There will be no nuking of America, except the two cities."

Emperor Hirohito: "Or...four...but if it's 4...it'll be 20..."

iosolomon: "I will ask iTunes."

King Solomon laughs. "You will leave the fate of 20 cities to iTunes? Then, you need to ask correctly."

iosolomon: "iTunes, give me a good song to think to, but whatever is next, I will listen to it."

iTunes: "Colt 45, Afroman."

Abraham Lincoln: "I was trying to sleep...but I have this memory of seeing on tv people showing me rap music, and for some reason, this song just reminded me of that, so here I am, but I'm just going to remain silent."

iosolomon: "Ok. The floor is all Yours, King Solomon."

King Solomon: "iTunes, an answer of 100% No will be highly considered. However, any other answer will be considered as an abstention. An answer of 100% yes, I will be on my way to the North Korean Embassy right now. And an answer of overall 'yes' will be greatly appreciation by Emperor Kefka. What do you have?"

iTunes: -3:13 -3:11

iosolomon: "The truth is I listened to this song one too many times. Turn it off, turn it off!"

iTunes: -1:42 -1:24

ok switching.

iTunes provides 'Just A Little - the Massacre - 50 cent."

iosolomon: "Just so you know, that is a vote of overall 'yes' go for the 20 cities. Is that how you mean to vote?"

iTunes: "Genesis 21."

iosolomon: "Uh-oh. What's wrong with you iTunes? That's an answer of Yes."

iosolomon: "Even Madonna hates America?!

Madonna: "Nothing really matters."

King Solomon laughs. "That's not the answer I was expecting at all. I thought it would be a no answer, an abstention, or a 100% no. iTunes, is this how you really mean to vote? Because I will hand the controller back over to Emperor Kefka. One more song, for final clarification. I will interpret it like the Jew I am. I will either conclude it is a 100% yes or a 100% no."

iTunes: "Nope, sorry, just two boom booms."

Britney starts singing: "I got that Boom Boom."

King Solomon: "Being the Jew I am, I just need another answer of no. But I will either be deciding it is 100% yes or 100% no, no matter how ambiguous it may be."

King Solomon shakes his head. "Now you vote for Emperor Kefka. AH!"

Emperor Kefka: "Enough, iTunes has spoken. We shall travel to the North Korean Embassy."

iosolomon: "iTunes, I will head to the North Korean Embassy, and I will request immediate, or as soon as possible, nuclear explosions from the North Korean Embassy. This is not a game anymore. Last song. Either it's a go-ahead, or it's a no-go."

iosolomon sighs. "An ambiguous song, but it means no."

Emperor Kefka: "Then I will ask one time."

iosolomon: "NO! You are NOT allowed!"

Emperor Kefka: "Why not?"

iosolomon: "Because the Empire of Korea will pick a go-ahead song."

Emperor Kefka: "Can I see then?"

iosolomon: "Ok, but then I will ask one more time."

Emperor Kefka: "Empire of Korea, are you ready to claim your place in Heaven?"

Emperor Kefka laughs. "It worked. That's a go-ahead."

iosolomon: "And that's a no-go from iTunes."

Emperor Kefka: "Dangerous game this iTunes plays."

iosolomon: "But didn't we already write this? I believe they already have a copy of this."

Emperor Hirohito: "They know what we are about to say before we even say it."

Schala: "So we are in a video game?"

iosolomon: "Yes. Except it hasn't happened to us yet..."

Schala: "What do you mean?"

iosolomon: "There are dreams and visions I have that end up coming true. For example, during Lost Pilot Episode 27, do you remember how there were three Chapter 25s?"

Schala: "Yes, I remember."

iosolomon: "Well, BEFORE I ever wrote anything for South Park, I had this very memory of writing three Chapter 25s, and then, it came true. But I did not mean to write three chapter 25s. And after I wrote them, I was like, I already wrote that, but that was the first time I actually wrote it."

Schala: "..."

Schala: "This sounds like my world."

iosolomon: "Yeah, except I'm Lavos!"

Schala laughs. "You are not scary! Even you Emperor Kefka."

Emperor Kefka: "..."

Schala: "He he he."

iosolomon: "Well, I'm off to 28."

I want to say it was Portugal. But I remember you being as pale as you are now, so Denmark and Norway also come to mind.


	14. Chapter 14: ME Against The Static

Chapter 14: ME Against The Static

King Solomon: "You see. I know that I am the Sun of God. However, my greater concern, what if you never get to experience the after-life how I think? That is, I am King in Heaven. And, here I am, the vanity of all vanities, being the one You call God. It is embarrassing to me, though, saying that the Ukrainian slaughter was okay under the eyes of God. Because even my friend, Sarah [Ukrainian] knows who I am. And it's just like, the mentality that the Ukrainians have would honestly lead to Jesus Christ dying on the cross. I start laughing a little at that. It's like, why would you just stand there? But still, it will be embarrassing me to be around people now that I actually spelled it out for all the world to see. It's just that everyone knows all these things about me that they shouldn't know as far as I know, even though I know that they know, but it's like WHAT do they really know? I just don't know."

iosolomon laughs. "But now what are we ever going to do with this chapter?"

Quina: "I can eat it!"

Emperor Kefka: "And I can burn it!"

iosolomon: "I don't know, because the only way I would know for sure is if I ask iTunes, and I don't know if I want that answer, you know, to the question, 'What do all these people know about me?'"

...

iosolomon; "Really, Sage Rat, you are going to play THIS?! At this point in the conversation? And it was already selected, that's the funny thing. The timing always gets me. Because what if I change my mind, you know, what if I had manually changed the song. What if I was done typing before the song was done playing? Then this wouldn't be happening."

Emperor Kefka: "They want me to make an appearance."

Emperor Kefka laughs. "I can destroy it for you if you want. The after-life, these problems do not exist."

iosolomon leaves. "Back to Episode 28. I really don't know how the heck I'm going to clean this up."

King Solomon: "Maybe we just leave it at 28?"

iosolomon: "But doesn't the prophecy speak of an episode per night? I know that 20-25 were kinda lacking, but that doesn't mean i have to go back and write 100000 words for each of them. The story is coming to an end though. I just don't know how the heck I'm going to end THIS one up..."

iosolomon: "Considering I am King Solomon, I would post it how it is. But I do not want to have to deal with the Law, or any of that shit. That is why I have to clean it up before I can post it online. But how?!

iosolomon: "but even still alarming to me. how does justin end up working at shop rite without them turning the matrix off?"

Abraham is gone. And I am pretty sure I can avoid the 23rd day now. But I don't know because I want to end this matrix.

So it's like why wouldn't i kill myself at this point. I did all that I needed to. Abraham will send 40% of the world to hell if they were to be judged. He doesn't necessarily have to destroy the world. Just wait until you die, you'll see him, if you so chose to. The Indians, they play their own game, their own rules, they have Shiva. but that doesn't mean an individual indian can chose. That's how you get trapped. the devil does not dare violate god, the devil knows he would get destroyed. but the devil tells you it is a sin, and you believe the devil that it is a sin, then when you are to be judged, the devil tricks you, because you are afraid to see god because you are afraid of God because of the Devil. Oh, woe is me, i see it all, i hear it all. and, I'm the Devil...and I'm God, I'm so fucking evil at times. But even I have to face judgment. As long as I tell the truth, if i was to say, oh, just woe is me, that pointlessness feeling comes back.

No joke. I will go to a North Korean Embassy and order my parents' immediate execution.

I have been avoiding by parents.

But each time I see them, all I think about is ordering their execution. Standing there, forgiving their sins before they die, so they won't go to hell. if i want them to go to hell, i would send them to solitary confinement.

If the people who are reading this do not deliver this message to my mom and dad, I will also send you to hell upon my death, upon your death, if it comes to that. do you understand? I do not like it when Abraham possesses me. Ok, Abraham is gone. However, this isn't fun for me anymore. I do not like to get mad, and I really don't want to watch my parents die. The only time i should see them lifeless should be in their coffin, not on a field. Do you understand? I am getting tired of this shit. I will kill myself first before I walk into a North Korean embassy, because if I am not god, then that is not my place to send them to hell. How do i know? How can I be 100 percent sure if no one tells me? You see. Now, if i become Emperor of Korea, then yes, my parents are dead.

Noah, lol he's gotta be the devil by my calculations. It makes sense why the guy [from God's Plan for America] says that god never destroys the devil, god never destroys noah. but noah is not evil. he just tricks you. FOOL!

Fin / end of I am Emperor Kefka Part 1


End file.
